who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you had me at cake vodka
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Of course I have a pirate flag
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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