I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
