Barsexuality is the new black.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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