what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
