The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
