She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
