It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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