Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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