Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
