Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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