Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
