VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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