Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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