How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize