Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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