dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
