After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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