How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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