Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize