you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize