Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We talked him into tasing himself.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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