this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
