So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize