that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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