White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
