I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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