I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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