i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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