If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
