Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
