I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize