Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
