just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
