Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
