if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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