Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
