Did you just see the Batmobile???
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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