So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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