i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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