every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
