there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
