Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
