your parents love me but you hate me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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