I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
