I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
