White coat. Heels.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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