mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
