we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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