it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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