WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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