i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
