Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
