I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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