What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
