I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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