I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
