Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
