i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
