Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize