yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize